Twilight Vampires Are Pedophiles

Michael Jackson Clearly Dead Like Edward Cullen

The King of Pop was probably undead long before Edward Cullen even hung around vampires.

In the Twilight series, the main character, Edward Cullen, hides his immortality by pretending to be a high school student in Washington state.  He was born in 1901, which makes him 104  years old by the time the first book was published in 2005.

That’s right — a man, after 104 years of life, decides he should stay in high school.  I’d blast my brains out before I had to go back to high school.  Eddie Cullen is a millionaire, or at least should be a millionaire given that time is in his favor.  He could easily claim he’s the grandson of the owner of a big company and work in the mail room.  He could pretend to be a spoiled trust fund baby.  He has many options, yet he chooses to surround himself with underage children.

He’s a pedophile.

Care to argue it?  He falls in love with Bella, who is a teenager, and he’s almost 90 years older than her.  Technically it’s probably not illegal in Washington state.  According to Washington State law, Cullen probably didn’t break any laws.  But if he had sex with her in Arizona, where Bella had just moved from, at exactly the same time he was banging her in Washington, then yes, he’d be in jail.

Best case scenario, Cullen is a creep.  Anything less than that, he’d be doing time at Big Joe Arpaio’s tent city jail.

 

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  1. Pink Vesuvius says:

    I agree that it’s all pretty creepy. But he actually waited until she was eighteen to bang her.

  2. Dee says:

    Hi i am quite the skeptic, but part of me wants to believe. I do have some questions
    1.What exactly are these “bugs” undead creatures?
    Are they or were they human?
    Why have they not evolved as many species have, meaning why do they still hide,considering they have been around for malennia?
    How do they become undead?
    Are these things being whatever they are a product of some government experiment?
    If in fact this is a secret organisation why is it quite public?
    can u give a description exactly of what these beings look like?
    All in all if this site is someones active imagination it is quite interesting, the perspective on these so called bugs
    Thankyou look forward to your reply

  3. Othniel says:

    Some of your questions have already been answered on this site, and further back in this blog. Take a look at some of the earlier posts for those.
    The eBook version of my book, co-written by Kevin Glennon, will be coming out the week before Christmas. That should take care of the rest. The print version will be out in February.
    If you can’t wait until then, let me answer a few of your questions:
    Bugs are still technically human, but for our sanity and to be humane to the victims and their families, we consider them undead. So they don’t evolve, no matter how long they live… which mercifully, thanks to groups like us, is not that long.
    As for our secrecy, we follow the Navy SEAL model: everybody knows we’re here, but we can’t officially say it. I’ve seen about a hundred books written by SEALs and Delta Force shooters, and figured it was only fair I got a chance to tell our story… even though the government will officially deny it, and I can’t post or use our official government and corporation names.
    And thank you for your interest! I hope you enjoy the book when it comes out, and this site in the meantime (and in-between books).

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